i'm used to being one with the misfortune to find.

oh em gee.

what a weekend.

on friday night, late, i got a call saying that sam, the other live-in,would not be working that night or at all this weekend. this caused stressed and anxiety.

now, i have quite a history of stress and anxiety. I often refer to high-school me as "giantstressball ellie."

I don't handle stress well. I start finding it difficult to breathe, i start crying at random inappropriate times, and bite my nails like you wouldn't even understand.

i turn miserable.

and even though max and florian totally supported me through everything, i just wanted to cry. i have the heavy burden feeling on my chest, that made me feel like i could run out of breath at any moment.

i love the folks, and they make me happy,  but not even Jay's dancing could do the trick.

what do you do when stress consumes you,and you can't do anything to fix it? people pulled together, and I didn't have to work alone, but still, the anxiety loomed over me all weekend.

i feel better now. sam is back, and i can rest easily again. we also had a lovely barbecue for the community today, and it went off without a hitch. my life has restored order.

but what to do next time?

i guess i'll have to deal with it as it comes.

nothing is too much to handle with good faith and friends right?

- ella faye