Wednesday, 22 June 2011

i'm not drowning (there's no one here to save)

it's funny to me that people get so wiled up about certain topics.

gay rights
women in ministry

religion and culture clash so strongly in some of these topics that it can ruin friendships, cause riots and break hearts.

(sidenote: excuse me as I get back up on my pedestal)

don't get me wrong. I love God, consummately, with my whole being. I've lived through heart break, abuse, near poverty, the death of a parent and a lot of prejudice. I don't think for one second I've made it through on my own strength, because many times I have felt overwhelmed and torn down.

But, I also think it's not my role to judge. God kinda speaks about how he's the only one who can judge people, so like, is it even my job to care what other people think? I don't really think so.

Which is why I find philosophical debates both interesting and frustrating. I don't mind speaking out on my own opinion, which is hardly the norm for my church group, but also I don't think shocking or controversial, but I also don't like being told I'm not a "good enough christian" or "living my life for God".

It hurts my feelings! I don't think the people who know me doubt my faith, or doubt my love for God, so why should they care if we don't totally agree!

I've been told on a few occasions that mindsets like mine that go against the literal translation of certain bible verses is what cause division in the church, which hurts me so deeply. I don't want to see division in the church, it's tragic! I  can accept that everyone is different, and can accept that fact. I don't think it's my way of going against the grain that causes division, I think it's the mindset that everyone needs to agree because a certain translation is "right" and there can be no other interpretations of that.

My world is shades of grey. I'm not perfect, and so I can't say what is right and wrong. I hardly know what's right and wrong for me all the time, never mind for other people!

I'm sorry if that's an upset, or if you judge me for it, but do my opinions effect your everyday life? If people had never asked me, they'd have never even known!

I just feel like there is so many huge issues in the world that I'm sure we generally agree on.

World Poverty.
Child Slavery.
Family Violence.

I get so frustrated at the idea that we all agree on these things, but do nothing about it, while people picket and fight against letting two women get married in a church. What wasted energy!


I guess Im just feeling passionate these days. I want to love everyone, I want no one to hurt, and I want to make a big difference in some of the issues I'm passionate about. But, I also want support from my friends, family and church in the process - whether or not we always agree on the same things.

- ella faye

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