Wednesday, 2 November 2011

whoa, i'm waiting for the breakdown.

i'm so sorry i haven't been blogging.

truth is, i'm so miserable here this time. i look back at my joys and excitement of the last time i lived here bring even more sorrow to my heart when i just can not seem to find the same light heart i lived before.

i thought that maybe, with my strict house leader gone things might be even better this time. i thought it would be my dream job,

but all that has happened as no one has been keeping my miserable, mean and awful coworker at bay. she's mean to me all the time. nothing i ever do here is right. and even though i do so much laundry, cleaning and care, it goes unnoticed over how anything that goes wrong is somehow my fault.

i find myself on the verge of tears on a regular basis at work. doing all i can to hold up a strong front for the folks. i want to come to you with stories, but at the end up the day, i just want to curl up in my bed and head to my safe sleepland where I can escape the misery I have to live here.

it seems no one has the guts to stand up to her, and I certainly don't. she would just victimize me more, making life here unbearable. so I'm just going to keep trekking on.

I really love the folks so much. I love caring for them, and I love the actual work aspect of my job, but its hard when I'm only every being told my flaws.

I can't wait to visit Michael in Calgary and just be in his arms. To remember what it's like to be around someone who truly values me.

Only two more months till I'm back at school, please don't give up on me!

- ella faye

1 comment:

  1. Hey Elisabeth, I've been checking your blog regularly and praying for you. I'm really sorry this co-op is not going nearly as planned, and you have no idea how much I wish I could be there beside you right now to give you a hug, make you tea, and tell you it'll be okay, wrapping you in a blanket. I think if this coworker is giving you this much trouble, it is more than worth it to cal co-op services and at the very least let your co-op advisor know what's up. You might not be able to do anything, but you are a co-op student (and a damn good one at that) and you deserve better. We pay them hundreds of dollars a term to look after us, and it sounds to me like it's time for them to do their job. Keep on being strong, dear - you are one of the bravest people I know. And please, please, please let me know if you ever need to talk - I'm only a phone call away. Cell's on the fritz, but I'll check my email and FB more frequently and look for your call. We all love you, and are looking forward to welcoming you back to Renison. With all my love and every prayer I can muster, Ainsley