ain't no use defending words that you will never say.

don't get me wrong,

i'm genuinely happy in my relationship.

but, today i feel a little in over my head.

you know, sometimes, even though you pretty much spend every day with someone for four months,

you start to realize that maybe you don't really know them at all.

i don't want to question my own values to feel comfortable with his,

but i also don't want to be the person who passes something up because of something that shouldn't be a big deal at all.

i have awful timing.

i'm getting on a plane to see him in nine days.

and all i want to do is take a minute to think things through. have i been being foolish this whole time? or am i being foolish now?

with me, it's really a 50-50 shot.

- ella faye