i have some more confessions.
sometimes, i wake up crying of happiness because everything just feels so right.
and sometimes i wake with a sorrowful heart, and have to choose to smile through it.
sometimes, i eavesdrop on people in starbucks,
because it reminds me how small i really am in this world,
and how big God is to be aware of it all.
sometimes i act like i think i'm the most beautiful girl in the room,
because it's nice to think someone thinks that, even if it has to be me.
sometimes i go to my room and cry after hugging all my core-members good night,
because i know one of them doesn't remember me each morning, and it breaks my heart.
sometimes I go to a shoe store and find the ugliest pair of shoes I can to try on,
because I think it's hilarious when the salespeople try and tell me they look great and they're a super popular shoe.
sometimes i just want to get married and settle down,
and sometimes just the idea of that scares the hell out of me.
sometimes i whisper my true feelings about people while I lay in bed at night,
because I've convinced myself that somehow someday it will get to them and they'll understand me better.
sometimes I would go to a specific yoga class to get that super hot instructor,
but then I would avoid him like the plague the entire class.
sometimes I seriously consider applying for the bachelor,
because I feel like it would be an awesome story for my kids (sorry michael, aha).
sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve to joy I have in life
but I'm sure as heck happy I have it.
i am so, so blessed.
- ella faye