lord, make me a rainbow.

sorry i havent written in so long, moving does this to me.

also, i was watching "Hoarders: Buried Alive" a couple days ago and had minor crisis,

i'm pretty sure i'm a hoarder.

i hope dear mike doesn't see this and decide i'm crazy!

but seriously, my room at home doesn't look much better than the houses these people live in!

so i decided to take on a challenge and unhoard my room, i've been throwing things out left, right and centre, and have so far in one morning filled one large black garbage bag of trash and one of clothes to donate. Seriously, I went from three drawers of tee shirts to one (but this does not include the clothes I brought home from school, which is another 3 suitcases worth of stuff.)

stuff is just stuff, i don't need so much of it!

wish me luck in my cleaning endeavours this week!

- ella faye

memories, like embers, keep us warm. you will leave me in the morning.

i guess i should tell you,

mystery boy, or mike, as i would generally refer to him as,

is now my boyfriend.

i know things moved fast, but we decided to take the plunge and DTR before he flew back to the other side of the country to do his work term for the the next four months.

it sucks that i finally get what i've been longing for for months, and then he up and leaves me here to miss him for the next term. but, i'm so happy. by officially labelling our relationship, we're going to have to work hard to make it work while he's away, and i think we will. he's so incredibly wonderful, i don't want to let this go anytime soon.

also, in res, we built an epic sand kingdom.

mike was a part of this, because he's awesome. it's nice to have so much fun with someone again.

so basically, that is what is new in my life. i'm super tired today, but i will write again soontimes.

sand kingdom building crew ftw.

- ella faye

life was on our tongues, and it tasted heavenly.

oh hey everyone.

i just have to say, this is my 100th post on this blog.

i never would have imagined back in march when I was looking for an outlet for my feelings and stories that i would create a journal read by people all over the world.

in fact, today so far, on it's own, i've had almost the same amount of hits as i did in the entire first month.

i laugh when i look at the feelings, thoughts and ideas that i had just a few months ago, and how much i've changed. also, i laugh when i realize the most commonly read posts are those to the elusive mystery boy, who managed to capture my heart is such a whole and unique way.

i smile to think of my beloved core members and how i'll be seeing them agains soon. I miss them, but i'm also really going to miss being here. I've had the best term, and met the most amazing people. This moving every four months does not fly with me!

i'm so thankful for this, for you and for my experiences.

thank you for taking time out of your day to care what i care about! i will keep enlightening you with the silly fun stories that make up my life, and i hope you will keep coming back to read them!

you rock an epic amount.

- ella faye

he smiles, it's like the radio.

sometimes i'm pretty sure my life is like, the Truman Show.

That movie messed me up man.

everything is sorta falling into place - cold feet about mystery boy or not.

my term is coming to a close.

i'm happy.

i feel in control.

it's unfortunate that as soon as mystery boy becomes more of a chance, Daniel gets back in touch with me.

but he hasn't made up his mind, and so I can't wait around, you know?

plus, mystery boy makes me so happy, he's who i want a chance with right now anyways.

(side bar: i'm feeling less anxious about this whole thing than I was earlier this morning)

I just feel like everything is too good to be true, or too wild and crazy to even believe.

like seriously, a movie on my life would be freaking hilarious.

I drive a smashed up gold PT cruiser, I have the most dramatic romantic life, my family it nuts, and i say the dumbest things that always set me up to be insulted. I'm pretty sure I'd be te romantic comedy of the year.

My exciting life probably explains why you are reading this right now actually, aha.

but seriously, where do I get funding for this shit :P MTV would seriously profit off making me the new reality tv show on their network. I'm way cooler than Jersey Shore (Mad respect for Snooki though, also, I didn't mean to offend anyone with that comment).

Anyways, I'm off for more studytimes. One more day till I'm free from exams!

"Erotic Aerobics Night - Just a day in my life."

- ella faye

she takes my money - when i'm in need.

i have the most awesome car to ever exist on the face of this earth,

she is the Golddigger.

She is a 2002, Dream Cruiser 1. A special edition bright Gold version of the PT cruiser, that comes equipped with gold inlay in the leather seats, "Dream Cruiser" rims and a Grammy Nominees of 2001 CD in the CD player - including the ever so fabulous clean version of "The Real Slim Shady". This car is anyone's dream car.

I have a lot of fond memories in that car - cruising around whitby with the sunroof down and Courtney and Heidi belting along to Ke$ha with me, venturing into Montreal with Max and Florian, picking my drunk friends up at the beach only to be argued with about who's water bottle I brought with me, chats with Daniel driving to and from Waterloo. She is cherished and loved by many.

Unfortunately, late at night on Saturday July 23rd, some drunk, foolish hooligans decided the Golddigger was not worth the respect of just walking on by. They climbed on top of my car and jumped on the roof - caving it in. With $4500 of damage done to my beloved car, this seems to have overcome her, and she will be moving on to car heaven in the near future. I have decided to be a responsible mother, and I am donating her parts so she can save the lives of other cars around the world. Our loss with help make other car owners exceedingly happy with news that they can now be given a much needed car transplant.

She is in stable condition, and is still with me here in Waterloo. She is accepting visits from August 6th until she is put down - the date for this is still unknown. Thank you all for your support and condolences in this time, on behalf of the Golddigger herself, and the rest of our family, we are incredibly grateful for all your love and support.

She will be missed - but her legacy will live on.

- ella faye

i'll be waiting for you, when you're ready, to love me again.

so sorry i haven't been on recently.

i had hell week at school.

then so much has happened.

honestly, i want to curl up in my bed and hide from the world - which i am doing right now.

daniel came for a night this weekend - i laid everything on the line, i want him to give me another chance. but also, he's changed, and i'm scared he's not the godly young man that i fell in love with anymore. it's the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach, i just want to cry all of the time, it's pretty lame.

but in my heart, i want to give it another shot, i want to make him see we could be awesome together all over again. but, he can't make up his mind. it sucks.

he told me that being with me is like coming home, because we have such a special level of comfort and understanding, but i don't think he wants to come home anymore. and if he doesn't, i'll cry, but i think i'll be okay. i'll find someone else who "gets" me, makes me laugh, will drink tea by the fire with me and who will kiss my nose.

as if this wasn't sensory over load enough for me - max messaged me today. he asked how school was going, and how i'm doing. he apologized for "not living up to my expectations" while we were camping - is that an apology for unnecessarily dumping me? - and he told me he still considered me a good friend (the friend card - nice). seriously?

i did a bad thing when i left daniel and started dating max. max is a really great guy, but i gave up the man i loved more than i've ever loved anyone for him, and all i got was heartbreak twofold. is it wrong for me to think it's not fair that i have to re-deal with both of them again in one weekend?! seriously boys, did you co-ordinate this or something? frig.

i feel like i'm just going to stay single forever. i don't know if i am willing to make myself vulnerable again. nothing went as planned with daniel, i still love him, but do i love who he used to be instead of who he is now? and max broke my heart so much. and kevin before that.

this brings me to make note of how much i love my residence. if it wasn't for my residence, i swear, i'd have given up on men as a species, and probably would be considering dropping contact with every guy in my life who isn't in my bloodline. but last night, a midst my heavy heart and watering eyes, the boys made me laugh the whole evening away. we had a camp out in front of the building, and everything from pitching tents, to late night euchre, to "never have i ever", to roasted marshmallows, these guys make my heart happy. and even though i snored and sprawled out over everyone in tent, they all said they had a great time at the camp out. i don't know if i've ever had such great guy friends with no strings.  it's honestly just so great.

so, to conclude today - my heart is heavy and sad, because so much of my past hurt is coming into play this weekend, but, the awesome people around me are making it bearable. i'm going to choose to love everyday, even though i so often feel unloved.

- ella faye

birds and bees and songs like these.

pre-script. the post this morning was actually for yesterday but i wanted to make sure flo could tell everyone first.

i love summer term.

as the school term comes to an end, it amazes me how much i've loved doing school in the summer. 

it's like school, except beach volleyball every day, sunshine and happiness. 

so far i've: significantly improved my volleyball and videogame skills, gotten a sweet tan, become an unofficial euchre champion, had a sweet bonfire night, watched a drunk girl pee on the road in front of my residence, owned and failed some trivia questions at trivia night, celebrated a friends nineteenth birthday, owned a couple midterms, had a couple of papers and midterms own me, met some awesome people, kissed a stranger, not kissed anyone in res (although, much to my dismay baha), made friends, let go of some harmful relationships, eaten a ton of junk food and freezies, gone camping with some hot germans, seen an old favourite band in concert, spent an allnighter in the hospital, played a crazy amount of the sims, and just generally been awesome.

you should be so super crazy jealous of my life.

cause you want, what you want, and it's natural baby.

- ella faye