this is how the story went. i met someone, by accident.

dear mystery boy,

i've had a stressful week, so this is a better time than ever for you to ask me on a date. seriously, what is taking you so long?!

I think we should get together just us, I'll teach you to love the pokemon card game as much as I do, and I'll make you laugh at my lame jokes. I know tea isn't necessarily your drink of choice, but I'm the queen of tea, so I'll find a tea you love. And everyone likes hot chocolate so that's a good back up - even in this weather.

I know just yesterday I blogged about wanting Daniel back, and I will be honest with that, but, I'm not going to wait for him forever, so now is a good time to sweep in and scoop me up. It might take me a while to give up the past, but i'm so ready for change and a fresh start. I long for my heart to not ache anymore, and perhaps this is exactly what I need.

I like going on walks, and picnics, and I like playing pool (even though I suck). I also like - shopping at thrift stores, dairy queen, live music of anykind, gelato and disney, in case you need date ideas. if you're too scared to ask me face to face, i'd even take a facebook date invite.

Give me a fresh start, something to look forward too. I promise I'm worth giving a shot. Yes, I snore and sleep talk, I trip a lot, I say "Up yours","Don't Judge me" and "This is true" way too often, I'm way worse than I'll admit at euchre, pokemon is super important to me, and I'm I a bit of a sketchy past, but I''m still awesome. I'm friggen hilarious, I make the most delicious cookies and I'm super understanding. I make a great friend, support and confidant. I hope you can overlook my flaws.

I'm great and you're great. Also, my boss Jeff thinks you're great. Just sayin'

You're running out of time. What is up with that?!

- ella faye

don't you surrender anything.

my exboyfriend had a son today.

and i love this little boy dearly.

nick was my first love, and i let him go for rational reasons rather than emotional ones.

i just wanted to write a little letter for baby jaelen because i can't contain my happiness about his presence on this earth. what a beautiful little blessing.

-

jaelen,

i am not your parent, aunt, or grandma. i don't share any genes with you in fact.  i'm just a girl who once loved your father whole heartedly, and am super excited to see this part of his life develop.

you have been eagerly waited for. your dad has wanted you for as long as i can remember (which is a long, long time), and from what he tells me, you are even more precious and wonderful than he had ever imagined possible.

you look like him - which is silly because babies don't usually look like either parent they just look like little lumps, even though everyone says otherwise - but you actually do. i hope you have his heart of gold, his passion, his dedication and his great laugh too. your dad is a pretty cool guy, i must say.

 i don't really know your mom, but she sure is beautiful. and, since i know your dad is so great, i'm sure she rocks too. i know you will bring them happiness, joy, and just be generally awesome from today until forever.

here are my words of wisdom - grow up slowly, play always, have a faux-hawk at least once in your life - girls really like that (i don't understand it, but seriously, it's like hair magic), always remember that no one keeps their pride forever, so live with no shame as soon as you can, take risks, respect your parents, laugh at yourself, don't buy a gold car (try a neutral), when you love a girl make sure you write her love letters often, watch cartoons every saturday, learn to tie your shoes as soon as you can in case velcro goes out of grade 1 style, give everyone highfives, don't put everything in your mouth, chew on your toes lots because you'll lose that flexibility and most importantly, make you sure tell every single person you meet how awesome your dad's friend Ella is.

i can't wait to actually meet you. i'll teach you cool things like how to make fart sounds with your armpit and some awesome your momma jokes.

welcome to our world jaelen, i wish all the best for you.

happy birthday.

- ella faye

somewhere we went wrong.

just for the record.

in spite of everything -

i was the last person to kiss you before braces,

the first to kiss you with braces -

the last to kiss you with braces -

and the first to kiss you once they were gone.

i said i'd stick it out and i will.

- ella faye

don't forget.

please, remember me.

or, better alternative - just keep me in your life.

but just in case, remember my gold hair in the summer,

and the flecks of orange and yellow in my eyes.

remember my laugh,

and the softness of my skin.

remember my childish fear of aquariums,

and the way I so often smell like vanilla.

remember how I used to kiss you ears,

and always wanted to look at baby shoes, because they're just so darn cute.

remember jumping on the trampoline in the rain,

and the gentle breaths i'd let out when I fell asleep in your arms.

but most of all, if you absolutely have to let me go, remember that i love you with my whole heart, and no matter where life takes us, you will always be in my heart.

- ella faye

you've got everything i want - you've got sharp and sparkling pleasure.

dear super cute boy that i wrote too earlier.

you keep making me like you.

and because of that, you suck.

i'd appreciate if you'd be less nice for a day or two. give me at least one reason not to long for your attention.

i'd go out of my way to have you notice me the way i'd like. give me a clue. send me a sign. or just turn into a giant total douchebag so i know to decide you suck.

i know i have other options, but i couldn't take them up whole heartedly knowing this was a maybe.

so stop being a giant wuss and either be super lame, or super awesome.

preferably the latter.

thanks,

sincerely,

- ella faye

p.s. seriously, you know we'd be awesome. just take a chance on me!

our hearts speak in whispers.

dear cute boy that i totally have a thing for,

you're really nice. you make me laugh and i like that.

you're also super cute. you have especially nice eyes. but i'm sure girls tell you that all the time.

i like being around you because you make me feel comfortable, even though you make fun of me sometimes.

i think you should have a thing for me back. i know i'm awkward and clumsy, and sometimes i say the wrong thing, and i'm too loud, and i have a funny laugh. but i'm nice, i have a good heart, i'll make you laugh and i'm a really great kisser. i think we'd make a super good team.

i can't tell if you're just a super nice guy, or if you'd consider me back. please just ask me out for coffee so I know if you like me. i promise i'll say yes so nothing to worry about.

i'm getting impatient because i'd be super sad if someone nabbed you up if you were thinking you didn't stand a chance with me. i know you're a pretty busy guy and you don't know if you'd have time for someone, but i'm a pretty busy person myself - one more reason we'd be awesome.

so, cute boy that i totally have a thing for, sweep me off my feet.

i'm so ready, and i think this'd be and awesome thing.

- ella faye