don't you surrender anything.

my exboyfriend had a son today.

and i love this little boy dearly.

nick was my first love, and i let him go for rational reasons rather than emotional ones.

i just wanted to write a little letter for baby jaelen because i can't contain my happiness about his presence on this earth. what a beautiful little blessing.

-

jaelen,

i am not your parent, aunt, or grandma. i don't share any genes with you in fact.  i'm just a girl who once loved your father whole heartedly, and am super excited to see this part of his life develop.

you have been eagerly waited for. your dad has wanted you for as long as i can remember (which is a long, long time), and from what he tells me, you are even more precious and wonderful than he had ever imagined possible.

you look like him - which is silly because babies don't usually look like either parent they just look like little lumps, even though everyone says otherwise - but you actually do. i hope you have his heart of gold, his passion, his dedication and his great laugh too. your dad is a pretty cool guy, i must say.

 i don't really know your mom, but she sure is beautiful. and, since i know your dad is so great, i'm sure she rocks too. i know you will bring them happiness, joy, and just be generally awesome from today until forever.

here are my words of wisdom - grow up slowly, play always, have a faux-hawk at least once in your life - girls really like that (i don't understand it, but seriously, it's like hair magic), always remember that no one keeps their pride forever, so live with no shame as soon as you can, take risks, respect your parents, laugh at yourself, don't buy a gold car (try a neutral), when you love a girl make sure you write her love letters often, watch cartoons every saturday, learn to tie your shoes as soon as you can in case velcro goes out of grade 1 style, give everyone highfives, don't put everything in your mouth, chew on your toes lots because you'll lose that flexibility and most importantly, make you sure tell every single person you meet how awesome your dad's friend Ella is.

i can't wait to actually meet you. i'll teach you cool things like how to make fart sounds with your armpit and some awesome your momma jokes.

welcome to our world jaelen, i wish all the best for you.

happy birthday.

- ella faye